Your Biggest Time Suck: The People Pleaser

Be Direct

How many times have you heard: “Oh, I love this. We’ll do something.”

Too many.

Then you spend the next few weeks chasing for the next meeting.

And nothing.

There is something about people pleasers that prevents them from telling the truth.

They could just say: “I like it, but it’s unlikely we’ll do anything with it. I don’t want you to waste your time chasing us because I don’t think anyone will move on it.”

Okay, that’s cynical. I’ve had that treatment.

And I admit, I’ve done that too. I’ve tried to people please. And I go out of my way not to these days.

I actually love it when someone just says ‘no’.

Or they tell you the truth about what’s happening. No BS people are hard to find, but you know you can totally trust them.

One of the worst cases is when everyone around you (the CXO) says things to please you.

You ask them to challenge, but they don’t.

This means they don’t trust you. They don’t feel safe enough to give you their opinion.

I chaired an event on the Trust Economy a couple of weeks ago and people pleasing came up as an issue that reflects how safe people feel at work.

People pleasing outsiders shows they don’t want to drop the ball, but they wouldn’t know what they’d do if it landed with them.

And people pleasing leadership shows a culture with a lack of safety.

So when someone is asking for feedback, the kindest thing you can do is be direct. Be honest.

And if they need to give an opinion, the safest thing for them is to listen.