I'm just back from my holiday - exhausted because my two sons spent almost the entire holiday arguing.
It was like driving a back-seat boxing match around France. An ongoing episode of Bottom. I have learned new words that are not French, nor should they be provided here.
And I was the referee.
We chose Brittany for a break again, although it was a last-minute change from the European road trip we had planned. The fires in Bordeaux and awful temperatures in the south meant that touring would be unpleasant, especially if the tent caught fire.
So we opted for Brittany, along with everyone else.
I'd like to say it was relaxing. It was in parts, but the reality of being a parent is that holidays change for good once the babies arrive - and I have never got back the ability to switch off completely
When the boys were young, we made the mistake of going to a finca, a Spanish farm cottage, in Mallorca. I have never prevented so many attempts by my children to self-destruct. They found a way into the gated pool, they tried to climb out of the upstairs windows and the beautiful log fire set off an asthma attack for one of them.
It was a toddler death fest.
As they got older, the lemming tendencies turned into fights. But this year I saw punches flying in the rear-view mirror with whispered 'hate you' and 'stop it' as they knew a Shrek-style roar from dad was soon on its way.
"You're stupid," one said to the other.
"Dad, he said I'm stupid."
Then ten seconds later:
"Yeah, well you're fat," the other said.
"Dad, did you hear that? He said I am fat."
"Yes, I can hear you," I said. "You both need to PACK IT IN."
"He can hear us you know, one of them whispers."
There are two schools of thought on how to deal with such mean comments.
One is that you tell them they must never, ever say these things to each other as insults.
But they will say them anyway when you aren't watching.
The other is to let them crack on, because someone in the playground is going to say it and I'd rather they were prepared for it - but it's completely out of order to get caught saying it.
They are going to poke at each other's weaknesses anyway. I just don't want to hear it when I'm on holiday.
Is this bad parenting?
These days, I tend to let things play out and when they have calmed down, point out what they said is hurtful and wrong. I tend to get a better result that way for about ten minutes and then the moaning starts again.
But any parent reading this will know there are many ways to climb this very tough mountain.
One moment my two are mortal enemies threatening to tell each other's friends their worst secrets. The next they are the best of friends, playing in the arcades, teasing me or swimming together. They chased each other around the water slides for hours, played football and giggled a lot at bedtime.
Enjoying the break
There were, of course, great moments on the holiday.
I taught the boys how to snorkel. It was hilarious hearing them shout when they saw fish. It became the holiday hobby, so between that and making friends with French kids they had a great time.
We also went accidental mountain biking down some dirt tracks on French bicyclettes while sunset hunting in Quiberon. I got lost.
AI gave me my downtime
While they were doing that, this year I decided to have a proper break. I was tired and after hearing some heavy news earlier this year, I was keen to switch off.
I've said before how much the quality of your thoughts improves when you switch off your device.
This year I let my AI agent handle my email. Anything urgent came through as a text alert, anything that needed attention (but not urgent) appeared in the evening briefing and anything that could wait waited.
I'd tested it before, because email has eaten too many of my precious hours on Earth and I am moving away from it as much as I can.
I tell everyone my email assistant is AI up front, because I've had people's agents try to tell me they are real people and then break very fast under interrogation.
There is also a new EU rule on this. Since August, anyone using AI to communicate with people in EU countries has to say so. You can use AI all you like, as long as you are open about it.
My agent set up my meetings for me while I was away, checking in with me on a daily briefing message to make sure each one was okay.
We talk over Telegram, which is easier than a command prompt. The agent can't reply as me or send from my inbox. It can reply from its email account.
Now I'm home, the agent will continue to check my email and I will login once or twice a day only.
This is useful, as in the past I have paid PAs to do this work. That is now AI's job and has freed up significant time.
I came home relieved to have dodged the really hot weather, and with some great decisions made while I was away. More on those soon.
Hope you had a chance to get a good break - and no one fought in your car.
Dan
